Protecting your own mental health after a breakup

Your wellbeing is not a lesser emergency because someone else may also be struggling. You do not need to be perfectly calm before asking for help. Begin with what makes the next day a little safer and more manageable.

Start with the basics, not a complete life plan

Try to eat something, drink water and arrange a place to sleep. Ask a trusted person to check in at a set time. If the relationship ended abruptly, postpone non-urgent major decisions while you get your bearings. These are supports, not tests you can fail.

Notice what keeps you on alert

Repeatedly checking messages, social accounts or a partner's location can keep your body in crisis mode. If it is safe to do so, set a time to check practical messages and mute the rest. If shared responsibilities make contact necessary, use one channel and write down decisions rather than reopening them in late-night arguments.

Keep your own support separate from their care

You can encourage someone to contact their clinician or family, but you cannot become their entire treatment plan. Make sure at least one person knows how you are doing. A friend, therapist, GP or peer group can help you think about limits and next steps.

If you live with bipolar disorder yourself

A stressful breakup can affect sleep and routine. Keep prescribed treatment conversations with your clinician, share significant changes in sleep or mood promptly, and avoid changing medication on your own. You deserve support that is about your health, not only the relationship.

Recognise when ordinary coping is not enough

Seek professional support if you cannot sleep or function, feel persistently hopeless, are frightened at home, or are using alcohol or other substances to get through the day. You do not need to prove that things are “bad enough.” If you or anyone else is in immediate danger, contact local emergency services. Find support options, or read when professional help may be appropriate.